Crusts and Perfection
“Adam asked, How is your mother holding up? Will leaned back in his chair and an affectionate smile came on his face. She’s a remarkable woman, he said. She’s like a rock.”
East of Eden, John Steinbeck
Inspiration
My mom is now in a local rest home. The journey from her home, the hospital and now the nursing home has devoured my time and energy. A failing heart valve leaves her often breathless and afraid. She is still mentally capable of making all her own decisions. Only last year, did she consider a heart valve replacement. In her weakened state it was too late. We ask so much of our parents. When we were children our expectations were defined by love, food, haven from a stormy world and if we were lucky a visit from Santa Claus. As adults we demand even more than when we were children. We expect perfection when we know we live in an imperfect world and our parents likely did the best they could with what they had. We hold our parents to a higher standard than we have for ourselves and refuse to consider the dreams and demons that propelled them through their lives.
How does one spend the last days, months with a loved one? The moments slide by and yet we have made our own lives that must be lived too. I visit everyday and tell her I love her. I acquiesce to a kiss on the lips even though we were never a family that showed affection. I bring old photos, sweets or juicy summer fruit diced in impossibly small pieces. She favors ice cream. We share memories and I write down names of cousins, friends and places with a sticky note on the back of the photos. I put the photos in order by places lived, Whittier, Iowa, North Hollywood, San Francisco, Monterey, Austria and Italy. After that it’s easier, I remember. I hate walking out the door to leave. She is alone. But has better care than she did in her own home. The only perfection I can find in this imperfect situation is to enjoy each moment together. We both know each visit may be the last.
Essentials
When our neighbors shared plums from their tree and I found plum jam in my pantry I made Dorie Greenspan’s recipe for Brioche Plum Tart. I needed baking therapy. I paired a ripe peach with the juicy plums for contrasting flavors and color and then added a sprinkle of chamomile flowers from my herb garden. The baking group Tuesdays with Dorie had made the recipe in 2009. I read several of the blog posts and knew that the brioche dough would brown rapidly. I made the recipe in two small tart pans and covered the crusts with foil. But while waiting for the fruit to “bubble” and cook I also over baked the brioche.
I took my mom a piece of the warm tart and the only thing she said was, “You over baked the crust.” “Yes, mom I did. It’s still warm from the oven, do you want to try it?” She slid a piece of fragrant summer fruit unto her spoon and then dug in for another scoop. After the fruit had vanished she scraped off all the jam and fruit juices that had soaked into the brioche and when that was gone she finally tried the crust. After a few bites she said, “It’s too bad about the crust.” Yes, it’s too bad about the crust. My tart wasn’t perfect but it was still good.
Another wonderful post and recipe. You are a gifted writer, a good lesson in such a gentle way. Your mother’s comment on your tart made me reflect on myself with my daughter, and then remember something I read in a book about Persian rugs. Into each rug, a mistake is made, it’s called The Perfect Mistake, as only Allah can make perfect.
I’m going to remember that and overlook the one thing I see not perfect.
Oh Sue, your thoughtful comment has touched a place deep in my heart. We all strive for perfection, but the “perfect” is different for everyone. It is better just to be present in the moment or the joy of each day will be missed. Thank you.
Sounds like you’re doing your very best and making the most of the, indeed, imperfect situation. Your tart is beautiful! I’ve never tried a brioche crust for a tart, and I’d love to taste it with plums.
Thank you of the gracious comment Lisa, I appreciate it!
It’s an impossible time, and one that you’ve done the difficult task of capturing well in your writing. My heart truly goes out to you and your mom.
Such a lovely comment Viviane, thank you! It is a surreal time and touches every part of my day.
Deb, I have been away for over three weeks and finally this morning spoke to my mom to catch up with her after my long absence. We live in different areas of the country, and although I go home to see her every couple of months, I have guilt that I am not more available to her. Our conversation was pleasant as always – she caught me up on family news, the health of her friends and the latest obituaries. I shared about my trip. After hanging up with her, I thought to myself how lucky I am to still have my mom in my life. She is a blessing to me in so many ways. I fear the day my siblings and I might need to move her to assisted care. I lived through that with my Dad and it was sad and painful for both of us. He never adjusted. These years of living with aging parents come with more emotions, bewilderment, and decisions than we are prepared for. I can empathize with your situation. Your mom is very lucky to have a sweet daughter that visits her daily and brings her treats. May you find the grace to walk this road with love and tenderness. Perfection does not exist – in relationships or in baking. All we can expect of ourselves is to do our best.
Mary your tender and thoughtful comment was just what my weary mind and heart needed today. Thank you!
You had my tastebuds at brioche and captured my heart with your post. I really enjoy your writing. My grandparents are nearing this stage but will never leave their home. Enjoy the time you have left to the fullest. Your crust looks perfect from where I sit, btw. 😉
Such a splendid comment Jacquee, much appreciated! My mom didn’t want to leave her home either but she has better care now.
What a beautiful tart and post. Families are indeed complicated, imperfect, and beautiful. Keep strong and sending you lots of good wishes.
Thank you for the tasty comment Lynda! Perfection can be a curse and a blessing. With so much going on I hadn’t baked anything in months. Then I made the crisp brioche tart and it somehow felt ok to be good enough but not perfect.
So sorry for the troubles with your mom – enjoy every minute! I actually eased my expectations for my folks considerably as I have gotten older, especially after becoming a parent myself and finding how difficult it is – hoping for the same grace from my kids too 🙂 This tart looks so good and I love the brioche crust – such a great idea!
Thank you for the thoughtful comment Donalyn! I agree, parenting teaches us so much about ourselves and life too.
Deb, I’m both sorry and inspired to hear your situation with your mom. I’m sending the best wishes and prayers to both of you! I can’t possibly imagine how difficult these times must be. Your writing is beautiful. And yes, you’re right: we hold our parents to much higher standards than we do ourselves, likely because they are the beacons of perfection that hold us up–and when they fall short, it seems to strike a blow to our own idealism. I wish you both the very best in these coming months–you are both very lucky to have each other. Her comment about the tart crust is exactly the same as what my mom would say as well–an act of love in a way only moms can show. All the best, Deb!
Thank you for the inspiring comment Ala, much appreciated!
Your posts are as beautiful as your recipe. Your words tugged on my heart and now I am reminded that the next time my folks call, no matter if its inconvenient I will make time as we don’t, sadly have infinite amounts of it.
The tart is so light and romantic looking…utterly professional pic xx
We take our parents for granted, don’t we? Thank you for they reminder and gracious comment Deena!
My heart goes out to you and your mom. I can easily relate as my own mom is in poor health, too. I know how it takes every last bit of energy out of us. I also know that when I bring my mom a treat, it brightens her day. And I’m sure just seeing you walk into the room is enough to brighten you mom’s day — and the plum tart (perfect crust or not), made with love, is the icing on the cake. It looks beautiful and scrumptious. I send you and your mom big hugs and warm healing thoughts. As always, your writing and pictures are beautiful.
Your lovely comment brightened my day! Thank you so much Valentina!
A lovely tart and a lovely post too. You always make your food look so beautiful! Baking can be a great comfort. All the best to you and your Mum!
Cathy I appreciate your kind and gracious comment, thank you!
My heart broke a little reading this. Such a bittersweet time for you.
As I reread this post, I’ll be thinking of you and your beautiful tart. Viva la imperfections of life.
Carol, my deepest thanks for your lovely comment!
A slice of brioche plum tart to sustain me on my journey is above and beyond what I would hope for ..it’s a beauty Deb and all my best wishes to your mom and you on your journey…stay well 🙂
Such a tender and thoughtful comment Patty, many thanks!
Hi Deb,
I’m glad your sharing this beautiful tart with your mom. Here in Germany we also make a plain yeast dough with small black plums and call it Zwetschenkuchen. Your post as always is gorgeous.
Thank you for the lovely comment Gerlinde! Have a wonderful time in Germany!
Such a gorgeous summer tart, I love the plum topping. So glad you are able to spend some quality time with your mom – those moments are bittersweet, I know. Hoping you have many more visits with her!
Thank you for your gracious comment Laura, I appreciate your kindness.
What a gorgeous tart, Deb! Brioche happens to be one of my fave breads. I am looking forward to having a large slice of this heavenly treat!
Thank you for the delicious comment Denise, I would love to share a big slice with you!